Sons of Roland Trailer

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Rock and Roll and Love

Most straight male musicians would be deeply offended if someone insinuated that they got into music to pick up chicks but in their candid moments they're sometimes the first to admit it:

We didn't get into music for a job! We got into music to avoid a job, in truth… and get lots of girls…
- Paul McCartney, 1995

It's difficult for an average guy to score with the ladies. It's a little easier for musicians; stick a guitar in a douchebag's hands and suddenly he transforms into a sensitive artist. Stick a surly slob behind a drum kit and if he can keep a backbeat going he instantly becomes "moody and magnificent." It's especially true when a musician is good-looking although it can become difficult for their less attractive band mates to compete:
Between Skippy and Pete, it's a miracle that Joe and me got laid at all…of course we did because we learned to settle for the fatties. They weren't so bad and they were always grateful, at least. And, as Pete was quick to point out, the fat ones always gave the best head.
-Ed Houlihan, 1992

When sharing the stage with a couple of well-hung rock gods it's necessary for an average guy to bring something extra to the table:
It's my boyish charm, my charming wit and my witty conversation. Women find they are unable to resist my redundant personality.
-Joe O'Neill, 1964

Even starving artists who toil in obscurity are less likely to go home alone after a gig when music is their medium. But give a musician fame and fortune and the combination proves irresistible. The good girls pine over rock stars and the sluts throw their panties and flash their titties at them while they perform onstage. Rock superstars usually have an advantage over regular guys since for some reason women love rich, glamorous and wildly famous musicians.  
But surely the endless stream of tits and ass can grow tiresome. Man does not live on pussy alone:
I'd screwed, fucked, humped, balled, banged, shtupped (as the Jewish men in Flatbush say) shagged (as the Brits and my Dad says) I'd gotten laid, I'd knocked boots and I'd even fed the kitty a sausage. But did I ever do anything that could be called "making love?" Nope. I don't think I ever even held hands with a girl (other than my Mum because I used to hold her hand all the time) and apparently holding hands was the best part if you listened to the lyrics of one of the songs that made some friends of ours very rich. The song wasn't "I Wanna Suck Your Boob" was it?! Nope!  I had all that sex and nothing to show for it.
- Pete Loughran, 2005

A man needs more than meaningless intercourse with hot groupies and starlets to satisfy his soul:  

How could I make her understand that I don't go around telling random women that I love them? I may say a lotta things I don't mean and I may be a lying bastard but that's the one thing I don't lie about. I don't think it or say it unless I mean it. How could I tell her that without sounding crazy? Maybe I was crazy.
- Ed Houlihan, 2005

 And now these three remain: Rock and Roll and Love. But the greatest of these is love.  
Love is all you need.
- John Lennon, 1967